Fergus Eats My Chocolate Bar
Fergus was a little grumpy when I told him we were moving again. He complained that he had just got the flies in this house trained to fly towards him so he could eat them. He said it took a lot of training to teach a dumb fly anything and he really didn't want to move to a new house. I pointed out to him that if he taught the flies to come to him so he could eat them, he'd have to keep teaching new flies anyway and why not come to a big new house. I finally lured him with the promise of a big new dock and the fact that there was a little cliff in front of our house where he could practice his diving. That did it. Fergus has always wanted to train for high diving as he sees himself as an Olympic class diver and swimmer. And who am I to tell him otherwise?
So we moved.
And Fergus decided the cliff was a bit too high for this time of year (maybe in the summer he said when the water was deeper) and the water was too cold even for a frog.
Fergus pulled the covers up around his chin and took a nap. This seems to be his winter-time reaction to most things.
Unless it has to do with chocolate.
I went shopping the other day and bought my children some chocolate as a Christmas treat. I got one for me too in case Santa forgot to fill my stocking. (even though I have been a good boy, you just never know with Santa) I put them on the back corner of my desk out of sight so my children couldn't find them.
But the smell of chocolate obviously woke up Fergus because that little sneak climbed up onto my desk, and one by one hauled the chocolate bars back to his apartment.
Well - almost all of them. He ate one and left the wrapper on my computer keyboard as a clue.
So I peeked into his apartment and yelled at him to give me back my chocolate bars.
I might have saved my breath.
There was Fergus - face down - sleeping on the pile of chocolate as if the chocolate was a bed. He had his arms wrapped around the bars and his long legs(remember that he's a frog and has really long, and really strong legs) wrapped around the other end of the bar pile. And a really silly, sleepy look on his face - one of great contentment with the world. He should have looked contented, he ate my chocolate bar!
He ignored my yelling at him and his house is too small for me to reach into and sneak the bars out again.
So I caught a few flies, tied some string to them and have dangled them in front of the windows of his house.
Sooner or later, Fergus is going to hear those flies buzzing like mad, see them flying right outside his window and he's going to want to eat them (he can't resist crunching on his flies - they're his favourite food).
He's going to leave that stash of chocolate and I'm going to get my own bar back.
In the meantime, I'm hoping he doesn't eat too many of them so my children don't get their chocolate for Christmas. I haven't told them yet so we'll have to see what they're going to do to Fergus so they can have chocolate bars too.
And that will be a story for next year I'm sure.
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