Magnolia Story from Wild Bill

by Wild Bill
(North Carolina)

A woman calls to tell me there is something wrong with her magnolias. They aren't growing the way they're supposed to. I arrive at her house to find her neighbors have magnolias but she does not.

I'm looking around for magnolias on her side of the driveway when the woman comes out to meet me.

"You see my neighbors magnolias. They're so big and have dark green glossy leaves. Now come look at mine and tell me what's wrong."

She leads me to a stand of rhododendrons.

"These here?"

"Yes, these"

"What's wrong with your magnolias is that they are not magnolias. They are rhododendrons."

"My Realtor told me they were magnolias!"

While she was planning how to get revenge on her Realtor for telling her she gets magnolias with the house, I walk through the grass where the cones have fallen.

Naturally, I find seedlings growing. I call the woman's attention to the baby magnolias in the grass, and suggest that her Realtor may not have been lying.

I also told her she had very healthy rhododendrons

"Try Holly Tone to make them bloom better."